Hello sweeties! How are you all enjoying the holiday? I have plenty gist for you o. But let's save it till the holiday ends. So I've been thinking about this for a while now. It's no longer funny. Have you ever received a 'compliment' that got you angry, irritated, or depressed? I have!
Giving Compliments
According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary: A compliment is a remark that says something good about someone or something.
It also went further to say; it is an expression of esteem and respect, more like best wishes.
We feel good when we get compliments. They encourage and uplift us. They build up our confidence. They ignite our light and make the world a better place. I call them "The little gifts of love."
But it is quite unfortunate that many people in this part of the world don't know how to give compliments. A compliment which is meant to boost your confidence will just dampen your spirit. Ahan!
You know before I talk about something, I must have conceived it, believed it and/or experienced it. So I'm not blabbing, I'm talking from experience here.
On one of those times, it happened that someone tried to compliment my picture but did it wrongly. I was like; "Come, is this supposed to be a compliment?"
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| This is the picture. |
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| And this is a "compliment" I got |
Couldn't he had said it nicely? Smh.
That was how a friend now said: "Wo Amaka, you're being too soft and sweet. You have to develop a thick skin o. People will always talk."
Lol. It sounded like she was telling me to be negative because some people are negative. No way! Two wrongs don't make a right. Negativity cannot drive out negativity, only positivity can. And I choose to remain positive.
One of the ways through which I stay positive is to look for the positives in every day and every one I meet along life's journey. And giving compliments helps me cultivate that awareness of seeing the good in others. If you do not like people, you will not compliment them. The more you like people, the more opportunities you have to compliment them. That's what being positive is about.
Compliment should be entirely positive and leave no room for a negative interpretation. We need to understand the power of words. Our words can either move a person forward or make them fall. We need to be careful when we give compliments. Let's learn to differentiate compliments that inspire (right way) from those that kill (wrong way).
See other personal and practical examples below:
Example 1: My Weight
Wrong: "Babe, you've lost so much weight o, but you look great!"
Effect: I'll think I look pale and sick. That wouldn't make me feel great.
Right: "Babe, I'm impressed at your commitment to keeping fit. You look great!"
Effect: I'll feel great. And can even tell you how I lost weight. (whether I was broke, sick or really trying to keep fit)
Effect: I'll feel great. And can even tell you how I lost weight. (whether I was broke, sick or really trying to keep fit)
Example 2: My Fingernails
Wrong: "Nice nails, are they for real?"
Effect: What? I'll be offended if you put it that way.
Right: "I love your nails. They look so natural and classy."
Effect: Awww! First, I'll appreciate your comment. And then I'll tell you whether they are artificial or real. (I really do have nice nails)
Effect: Awww! First, I'll appreciate your comment. And then I'll tell you whether they are artificial or real. (I really do have nice nails)
Example 3: My Write-ups
Wrong: I like your article. Nice.
Effect: (not so bad tho but it has no effect on me.) I'll wish you'd say what you think.
Right: That's a creative article. Nice.
Effect: Now I know you like it because you think it's creative. I'll smile and say "thank you"
Effect: Now I know you like it because you think it's creative. I'll smile and say "thank you"
It feels great to give compliments. You make someone's day when you tell them how good they look and what you like about them. You'll brighten up their mood and make them smile (Sweet Glo made a post on smiles, I love it!).
When you truly feel that someone deserves a compliment, give it to them. Be sincere. Don't exaggerate your words to avoid flattery. Giving compliments is one of the characteristics of a sweetheart. It's one way to spread happiness.
So sweetie, go out there and start complimenting others the right way. :)
I hope it's not out of place to say Happy New Week!
Follow on Twitter: @Amakamedia
Email: amakamedia@yahoo.com
Heart Rays . . .giving out the light.
